Loss
by McSara
Summary: Kara lost her parents, her Family and her planet. But she found a new Family, an new home on earth. How will she deal with another loss? Includes Kara, Eliza, J'onn, Maxwell and mention of Alex. Sorry for mistakes, English isn't my first language :)


_Hey, so this idea came to me when I listened to the song "Saturn"by Sleeping at last (it's also the song attached to the text) and I really hate mysel for writing this text, but I couldn't sleep before I wrote this! :D Sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes, this was written at 4pm ;D enjoy reading!_

 _Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Supergirl because if I would, Malex would totally be a thing! :D_

Slowly, Kara Danvers took one step after another into the quiet church. Her black dress flowed around her knees softly, but she couldn't care less. She passed the last bank rows while getting pitiful looks from the other guests. She raised her head and tears blurred her vision when she saw the black coffin next to the left side of the altar. She looked briefly to the huge photograph that was on the left side of the black coffin.

The always so comforting brown lovely eyes of her beloved sister shone towards her and a lump formed in her throat. She picked that photo because she loved the way Alex's eyes sparkled. While Alex always meant she just had boring brown eyes, Kara had always found them warm and so full of love. How she wished these eyes would look at her again.

Pain shot through her as if someone stabbed her heart with a kryptonite blade. She had to look in the other direction towards the first row, where Eliza, her foster mother, and J'onn, disguised as Hank Henshaw, sat. Kara could hear the quiet cries from her foster mother and it broke her heart, knowing it was her fault, she failed to protect Alex.

Although Alex had always the opinion she should protect Kara because it's what big sisters do. But Kara always felt the need to protect Alex, after all she was the one with the super powers. Another shot of pain ripped through her when she thought about her sister.

Without saying anything, she sat next to Eliza and pulled her into a tight embrace. Eliza only seemed to sob more. There was nothing from the tough scientist to be seen at the moment and Kara felt the need to be there for her, even if she was hurting, too.

She felt J'onn's gaze upon her and knew that he sensed what she felt but she didn't look up to him for a second. Instead she looked around and there were lots of people. She didn't know all of them, so she supposed those were DEO agents as well. She spotted James and Winn but didn't dare to look into their faces. She recognized some of Alex's friends from High School. First she was really confused but then remembered that they were in Midvale after all and it was a quite small village, so news spread quickly.

Kara even discovered Miss Grant in one of the back rows, but she couldn't feel joy, all there was, was pain and numbness and grief. In her peripheral vision, she spotted a movement and when she turned her head to the right, she saw Maxwell Lord taking a seat in the front row. He didn't look good and Kara also knew why. But she turned her head forward when the pastor made his way to the altar.

Kara bit her lip, she couldn't believe this was real, oh how she wished it'd be a dream and she would wake up soon. But no matter how often she closed and opened her eyes, the sorroundings stayed the same. The doors of the church were closed and Kara could hear the drops of water on the roof of the church and she thought: „Even heaven cries..."

When the pastor cleared his throat, everyone looked to him and he began to speak: „Today we gathered here to mourn the loss of our beloved Alexandra „Alex" Danvers. If you'd please all raise from your seats and pray for her..." The crowd raised and began to praise, but Kara didn't really notice, she held Eliza's hand tightly and concentrated herself not to cry.

Well, she lost that fight, but she tried to contain the sobs that were trying to escape. Why Alex, why her beloved Alex, it just wasn't fair. They weren't finished, they still had so much they planned to do together and now she was gone forever. Alex taught her so much about life on earth when she herself was just a teenager with no experience of the big world. Her sister told her everything she knew and she would be forever thankful for that. If it weren't for Alex, this planet wouldn't have felt like home.

 **You taught me the courage of stars before you left**

 **How light carries on endlessly even after death**

 **With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite**

 **How rare and beautiful it is to even exist**

 **I couldn't help but ask**

 **For you to say it all again**

 **I tried to write it down**

 **But I could never find a pen**

 **I'd give anything to hear**

 **You say it one more time**

 **That the universe was made**

 **Just to be seen by my eyes**

 **I couldn't help but ask**

 **For you to say it all again**

 **I tried to write it down**

 **But I could never find a pen**

 **I'd give anything to hear**

 **You say it one more time**

 **That the universe was made**

 **Just to be seen by my eyes**

 **With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite**

 **How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist.**

„Amen..." When Kara heard those words and felt the slight tug on her hand, she sat down again. „Alex was a friend, a sister and a daughter, that was taken by god too soon. She dedicated her life to all those people out there in the world. She worked with the government to protect us all. She always put the other's needs before her own." Kara was glad the pastor knew Alex and her from her childhood, it felt comforting, knowing he knew the person, who he was talking about. „Alex was loved deeply,so her closest friends and family prepared some words."

Kara stood up and went to the altar, trembling. „H-hello, my name is Kara and Alex was my sister. Well actually foster sister but that wasn't an obstacle between us." She was surprised she could smile at the memory. „Alex never made me feel like I wouldn't be a part of the family just because I wasn't their biological daughter or sister. Okay we had our difficulties in the beginning, but everyone has them, don't you?"

She bit her lip to prevent herself from crying. „Alex was the best big sister everyone could ask for, even if she seemed to be cold and heartless from the outside. She is..." She had to swallow „...was the most kind-hearted girl and woman I've ever known. She taught me everything. Without her, this place wouldn't be home and a place full of beautiful memories. It's sad when the person who gave you the best memories, becomes a memory itself. But you'll treasure those memories. A person is only truly gone, if the memories fade and the person is forgotten. And because Alex is everywhere, she will never be really gone, although I wish she could be here in person."

The first tear rolled down her cheek. „She was always really protective of me and sacrificed so much for me. Even... even that day, she... she died..." Her voice got quiet. „She died protecting me. That's what she always did. If you knew her, you can count yourself lucky. She'll be in all our minds forever and so she'll never be forgotten and..." Kara sobbed „...her legacy will forever be honored. I love you Alex. Forever and always."

With these words she stumbled back to her seat, where Eliza already was waiting with a hug. Kara fell down in her arms and sobbed. She got pitiful looks, but she didn't care.

James and Winn went forward and they told really beautiful and funny things and quotes from Alex, that melted Kara's heart. A few others also held speeches and when everyone was at their seats, the pastor wanted to continue, but then Maxwell Lord stood up.

„I also want to say a few words..." He said quietly and made his way to the altar. „Of course I haven't known Alex als long as Kara has, but even if you only have little time with Alex, you'll get a good impression of her. We only had little time together, but it felt like years. Alex is extremely kind but only if you manage to break her hard shell. It's hard work, but it's really worth it. She's the toughest woman I've ever known, she's not scared of the unknown, she likes to explore it. I've never met a person as extraordinary as Alex. And Kara is right: Alex will never be forgotten. She will always be in our hearts, just because Alex is a person, you can't forget, you'll always remember her, because she's so strong, so different from any other woman. Forver in our hearts. Forever in my heart."

The last part, he whispered, but of course Kara with her superhearing caught it and she stared at him while he went back to his seat. J'onn also stood up to say something, but Kara didn't really listen. She caught scraps like „she was like my own daughter" and „she will always have a place in our lives" but she was too caught up in her own thoughts.

When everyone stood up, she did the same and watched as a few of the agents went forward to grab the coffin so they could transport it to Alex's grave, that was right next to her father's. The other agents went out of the church and they stood by each side of the path that lead from the church to the grave. Everyone saluted to honor Alex one last time. The rest of the guests walked behind the coffin, Kara and Eliza first.

When they arrived at the grave, both women smiled under tears and looked to the other grave. „Now they're finally reunited" whispered Eliza in Kara's ear, who nodded.

One after another stepped forward and threw white roses into Alex's grave onto the black coffin after it was lowered down into the earth. Eliza and Kara held each other tightly while staring onto Alex's headstone. Tears streamed down their cheeks. When Kara felt a light touch on her shoulder, she turned around and saw J'onn through her tear-blurred vision. „Let's go..." He said quietly. „The others have gone, too." Kara looked to the grave once again and J'onn must have sensed her feelings because he said: „It's not your fault. And you know Alex wouldn't want you to give the fault to yourself. Grant your sister that last wish." Kara sobbed and so J'onn took Eliza in one arm and Kara into the other. Like that, the trio left the graveyard with a huge gap in their hearts, where once Alex had been.


End file.
